Bloody roses

I drew this to express my feelings, to take a weight off my shoulders. I'm very proud of this drawing. Especially because it's a fanart and I feel the character came out cute and the way it is supposed to be, finally for once in my life I was able to draw a fanart character beautiful. Don't worry, I haven't forgot about Valentine's Day, I was just very tired and unmotivated to finish the picture I prepared, but I will make sure to post it soon. ^^

I don't know where I should start. Maybe from the beginning? Yep, definitely.

I want to say I am sorry I worried a numerous part of the deviants here with my last status update: danadani.deviantart.com/status… I did not mean to scare or threaten any of you and I really apologize if I did. Sadly I have been going again through a nervous breakdown. Yes, these nervous breakdowns happened way more often than I could prevent and burned a big amount of my energy. 
I am very stressed lately. Having a lot of homework, studying for exams, then make time drawing...these are all overwhelming. I had to go through a lot of changes bith here and IRL which completely babelized me in the worst way possible. I am a narrow-minded person and the word you are using, "change" has a negative connotation to me. Change means something bad to me and whenever I will see someone or something change, I will think negatively of it. This is how I am, I cannot change myself and sincerely, I don't wanna do it either. 
When you guys befriended me, you knew I won't always be happy. It's impossible to be always happy, let's be serious, and I'm good at faking that I am okay until I get to the point I feel the worst possible, leading to the nervous breakdown. I'm sensitive, my soul can get easily hurt.

Please, please understand me whenever I'm angry/sad/depressed, it means I couldn't take it anymore, that I pressed my feelings so much until I exploded like a balloon. Please don't yell at me, don't say bad things at me. Please be careful how you're talking to me. I am extremely sensitive and if you say something wrong, you can automatically make me cry, even yelling once at me. I'm not kidding. Please, ALL I NEED IS YOUR SUPPORT. I never asked any of you to do the impossible, all I am asking for is SUPPORT.

Understand that sometimes I feel inferior to everyone; my friends, my senpais, to everyone. Sometimes I wish I had their talent, that I could draw the things they can draw. But I can't. I feel bad because I am aware my drawing skills aren't the best yet people admire my artwork. Understand that I am afraid to draw sometimes due to fearing I will be mocked. Due to fearing people won't like it. Yes, I'm sensitive. I feel this way because someone I care about told me my art is worthless at some point which broke my heart. I really started to feel worthless and I wanted to leave, feeling I waste everyone's life here.

But I don't want to feel this anymore. I'm sick of crying every day. I'm sick of always worrying for nothing. If people tell me my art is okay, then why not believe them? Why should I go against what they say? Maybe they are right. I will forgive everyone in my life who did wrong to me and I'll forgive those who posted my arts without my permission on Facebook. It's no use staying upset on such thing and I'll let it go.

I promise I'll be okay, I promise I'll be the Dani you always knew and loved, I promised I will try to smile and erase the negative thoughts I have. I won't give up, I won't leave dA, I won't let anyone stop me from drawing the things I love. It's MY HAND and I decide what to draw with it and what not. It's my life and it's precious.

Rose (c) Kaitou Joker
Art (c) me~